I always seem to get caught on the wrong side of these love polygons.

You say there's an attraction towards me that hasn't gone away all this
time.  In the Kirktonic-ideal world, that attraction is like a pilot light
on a stove that can keep alive a potential for Us.  (Misused capital
letters and all... you know it's dangerous when politicians or english
majors start to do that.)

Once when I was trying to work out what I had felt for Veronika I came to
an arbitrary way of dividing strong feeling into satisfaction mentally,
physically, and emotionally, keeping intrigue with your mind, body, and
soul.

With prose, I've been able to intrigue some part of your mind,
with touch, I've been able to intrigue some part of your body,
now I need to convince you that the potential is there to
intrigue some part of your soul.

Feeling always fights being pinned-down in an orderly, rational
way, but that's the only way I'm going to get it into words.

--
Ok.  all that I've written above this was written before seeing you in
the campus center.

It's all hormones?  I can't believe that.  I think romance has some roots
there, and a good relationship will have a healthy dose of it, but that
it's only part of the story.

Yes, I'm attracted to your body.  Yes, I'm definately attracted to the
effect your body can have on my body: sweet sensuousness, one kiss, another..

The hormones are only one part of it.

Your singing, your sense of humor, the things you've written to me, your
refusal to take bullshit from anybody, your playfulness, the way you've
taught me to me sensitive to people's scent, your resiliency and grace
under pressure, your healthy skepticism about everything including me,
sometimes, your curve of cheek, and throat... there's more that can't be
so easily pinned down or described.

When I think of romance, even in the abstract, you're the first to pop
into my head, and it's been like that for a long time.

This is how I feel, how I've felt for the longest time.  I'm old enough to
realize I don't have to act on these emotions, but I wish to all hell that
I could.  Watch you in Mathamagicland, and wish you all the best, and be
'just a buddy', join you for end of senior year madness, have a hell of a
time.  Go to Senior Gala and look gorgeous with you and dance with you and
leave it there.  It'll tear my guts out, but even that's a thousand times
better than the alternative of hardly seeing you again.

Ok.  I've been writing long enough and the prose is looking a little
tarnished.

Hope your wisdom teeth will go/went out with no problems.  You said come
see you sometime over break... maybe I can bring a laptop.

let me know what's on your mind
teeth, shoulder,
ever kirk






_____
-O\O  Kirk Is            Romance dead? Nah. Visit the BLENDER OF LOVE
( = ) kisrael@tufts.edu    http://www.cs.tufts.edu/~kisrael/romance
    "The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews." --Auden