You can hardly see your name on the Ameriprise one. What's up with that?
Reminds of my Atari's graphics mode 9. Graphics mode 9 was the 4-bit-per-pixel mode that was almost useless, because its 16 colors were defined as: color 0's black, and colors 1 through 15 are 15 different hues at the exact same brightness. Contributing to its uselessness, of course, was the extra-wide pixels, meaning you got a 80 pixel wide by 192 pixel tall screen.
Oh, and the oil stain was what you got when you drew enough random shapes with it.