typo, unless you are going island-style with the
temporary overcast of the cluttered brain
--cjp Tue Mar 30 09:12:50 2004
Oh, I thought I would erase a certain someone, but then I wouldn't have any of the memories of the things that would eventually drive me bugshit. I wouldn't have any memories of how my love grew beyond filial love. I wouldn't know when not to try to dominate a situation, hell, I wouldn't know that what I was doing was an attempt at emotional domination. I would not remember the exact moment I realized that sex is not always motivated by affection.
I would have no memory of what that stale husk of love feels like, that love comprised of familiarity, duty, and a shrowded core of compassion, yet devoid of passion. I would not know how awful it felt, and how you must consciously work to avoid it. My current life would be empty of the context that makes it better than what passed before. I would probably still be attracted to people who tried to do no wrong, as opposed to people who try to do what's right.
But there is one lingering question. I've always contended that you give away portions of yourself to whom ever you love. These are parts of you that you can't get back simply because you want them. Maybe they come back with time, but volition is not a strongly correlated to their recovery. So, with respect to losing your memory of someone, do you get those pieces back or are they simply gone for good? If you get them back, you get to go through the joy and fear of giving them away again, as Joel did in the movie. Would having those kinds of experiences all over again be worth it? That's the big question that this movie raised to me.
-- same as above Tue Mar 30 09:38:34 2004
I saw that movie last night as well. LOVED it. When he realized he wanted to hold onto the good memories -- that is when it got intense for me. I never would want toerase any of my of my past loves, because there is so much good that I would loose.
--Rhetoric Tue Mar 30 09:50:45 2004
I think an interesting secondary point is, and this is more of an issue for a nostalgic guy like me, can letting yourself dwell and look fondly back on some sweet and bittersweet memories ever be tanamount to cheating on a current romance?
--Kirk Tue Mar 30 10:05:40 2004
I am more interested in how different memories wax and wane. There are times when you cannot remember the bad parts of a relationship. There are other times that the bad memories come flooding back. Oddly enough, neither are appropriate to a current romance. Just remember, time wounds all heels.
--frequent commenter Tue Mar 30 10:54:01 2004
I saw it when it first came out, and I can't stop thinking about it. I love the gentle way it explores how love seeps back through life, retroactively coloring experiences. Like the songs I still can't listen to because they remind me of digdug, even though he was never there to hear them with me....
--Brooke Tue Mar 30 12:57:08 2004
The most traumatic relationship I've been in has taught me too much for me to think about wiping it out of my mind. But I would like to add a memory of a good relationship, just so I'm not so cynical all the time.
All the indirect consequences really add up, too. Most of them related to the historical vacuum. So instead of being in a relationship for two years, you've been alone and doing mostly nothing for two years.
--Nick B Tue Mar 30 15:24:13 2004
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