crazy people
A story from a psych ward followed by a Bush quote...classic.
--Candi Fri Aug 6 10:50:04 2004
Useful Minor Superpower:
The ability to remember what is important and forget the trivial stuff.

Don't you hate the fact that you can recall the
theme to Gilligan's Island, but you've forgotten the name of the person you haven't seen in three years who you ran into at the super market.

Note this is different from the ability to consciously edit what you remember. You can't just forget embarassing things you did if they taught you anything important. A subconscious filter of importance.

Useful Minor Super Power:
The ability to stay organized without a computer. Not really a super power per se, but at least a laudable goal.

Useful Minor Super Power:
The ability to ignore media hype.

Doom 3 came out the other day, and I have resisted temptation. It really should not have been a temptation; I've got bigger goals on my plate, I've got larger problems to solve. But that hype machine has been grinding on me for the past two years on and off about Doom 3. 

Useful Minor Super Power:
The ability to read the emotional content of other peoples eyes / body language flawlessly.

Wouldn't it be cool if you never got a mixed signal from someone? If you could automatically disambiguate what their mouth was saying from the content of what their
presence was saying.  I'm not saying you would catch every liar, but you could at least separate out the professionals from the diletentes. 

Useful Minor Super Power:
To alway have $50 on you, and a full tank of gas.

Not more, not less. You can't start reaching into different pockets to produce additional fifties. Regardless of circumstances, you always have at least $50.

Useful minor SuperPower:
The ability to tell exactly when no one or thing is watching you. 

You are in a lobby, your nose itches. You know the exact moment you can get away with picking it. Woo Hoo!!!

If you've bothered to read this far, here are some funnies from H &K go to White Castle:

"I don't understand, you have perfect MCATs, why do you not want to go to med school?"

"Hey, I have a ten inch hog, it doesn't mean I want to do porno."
"So, how were her tits?"
"You know how bad the holocaust was, now
think of the exact opposite."
"You sank my Battleshitz"
"What kind of hippy are you?"
"The capitalist kind, now pay for the weed"
"Thank you, come again"

--Evil Bastard Fri Aug 6 14:21:44 2004
Huh, I thought a while back I posted someting about some guys who do have this almost super-natural ability to read body language, can't find the link though...

Minor Usless Ability: posting huge screeds to ;-)
--Kirk Fri Aug 6 14:37:29 2004
I heard on the BBC radio music trivia show "My Music," the *key* to making voices sound believable when sped-up is the distinct enunciation-- it's essential. Also, "My Music" is an eye-crossingly dull show.
--LAN3 Fri Aug 6 15:50:42 2004
You stole the rant on minor super powers from admit it. I saw you. I recognized the big nose and loping gait.
--erinmaru Fri Aug 6 18:38:21 2004
They probably got the idea from Patton Oswalt's CD.
--Nick B Fri Aug 6 19:28:03 2004
nein, ze minor super powers manifesto vas nut, eye repeat nut, ztolen from anzyvere. Eet ees untirely oareegenial, and very niiiiiceh. Zimply a reeft un vhat vingnut sub commander Kirkles had posted. Yah.
--Schlechter Bastard Fri Aug 6 19:56:16 2004
So, were my ideas original, or subconsiously stolen? I think I've heard the CD. Though I don't read Fray.
--Kirk Fri Aug 6 20:27:02 2004
Y'know, not to force feed some humble pie, but I don't think conversation destroying by going to far really is a super-power. Practically anyone can do it. . .most of those people really can't even control it. Wouldn't that make it some kind of pathological infliction or something?
--Mr. Lex Sat Aug 7 05:51:22 2004
Well, you can have superpowered villains as well. And sometimes they have trouble controlling their powers.

But see, what makes my power super is the fact that the comment is *just* over the edge. Not a lot, just by tiniest quantum of too-farness--that's where the talent lies.
--Kirk Sat Aug 7 07:29:56 2004
I am afraid I have to call shenanigans on that "*just* over the edge" malarky you put out. I have witnessed your ability on several occasions and quite often your singular comment is plummetting past the edge, sans parachute. I would say your talent is in making only one such comment, and making it count.

Your lemming instincts around the conversational edge are not as crippling as mine. You don't go about building new edges, advertising their presence and your intent, then jumping while berating others for not following you. No, you simply get a running start and fatally jump.


--Evil Bastard Sat Aug 7 09:24:24 2004
Well, I can't use my superpower *all* the time.

The "plummetting past the edge" comments are merely me in my secret identity.

--Kirk Sat Aug 7 09:56:05 2004

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