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• [In response to 'you're too old to be serious about playing soccer'] "Stanley Matthews was playing First Division football when he was fifty."
  "I'll bet you any money you like you're not playing First Division football when you're fifty."
  "[looks at his cigarette] Well, no. It's the smoking."
  "It's not the smoking, Steve. It's the crapness."

• Esheep.exe is the cutest little windows pet ever.

• If the mountains were paper and the oceans ink
  If the stars were scribes, and all the world could think,
  Not all their words upon words, in the event,
  Could come to the end of my love's testament

  ...though I wonder if, like that "Doubt that the sun doth move[...]But do not doubt I love" poem from Hamlet, maybe it was meant to be an example of overwrought poetry.
• K. Thor Jensen's A Short and Happy Life was one of my favorites, especially when it was updated every day. Check out Amber Forever, where he pretends to be a 14 year old girl in chatrooms, gets perverts to try to seduce her (him), and then turns the tables in fantastic ways. Funny, funny.
• The Whitney Museum Portal to Net Art.