Many thanks to Melissa for setting me straight on basic eyeglass cleaning, which I've been surprisingly ignorant of for 25 years. Both my usual default of "hot breath plus shirt tail" and even my "fancy" "water plus paper towel" probably are the cause of most of those little scratches I've put up with. The other really dumb thing is: somehow I got in my head that those little microfiber cloths you get were for use when the glasses were dry. Anyway, water plus one of those cloths will be my go to from now. I've even figured you use the little cloth as a towel, not as a washcloth.
For a kind of smart guy, I can be pretty not smart, for decades at a time.