In 2000 I had some terrible anxiety about the prospect of dying. I did a lot of thinking, talking with people, and reading, and I came up with some ideas that I found helpful and soothing and consoling – so much so that I haven't had a recurrence of those sleepless nights since.
I put those thoughts in the form of little essays on a website. More recently I put those essays in the form of a comic (you can see the rough original version at http://mortals.be/comic/ or the result after I hired a real artist to draw it at http://soyouregoingtodie.com).
I put these ideas in comic form in the hope of reaching people who have similar fears.
Now, I have a new idea, and I'm planning a new comic.
But I'll tell you that idea now. Its formulation comes from Nietzsche, of all people, and he calls it amor fati, the instruction to "Love Your Fate". He wrote:
My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it--all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary--but love it.But why should we love fate? I mean, sometimes our situation kind of stinks, doesn't it?
Is it searching for silver linings to whatever dark clouds? That's part of it. There's almost always something wonderful to be found in any circumstance we find ourselves in. If nothing else, we have the rare privilege of being "sitting-up mud", the small bit of matter in the Universe that gets to bear witness, to be part of the process of the Universe figuring itself out.
Is it because we might as well choose to be happy, at least as much as we are able to make that as a choice? Sure; feelings of love can increase our happiness, and so the more we can get there, the more content we can be.
But more than those, I think we should love THIS fate because it is THE fate. The Circumstance. There is no other. Our monkey brains will make us miserable thinking of alternate realities; maybe worlds just like this one but THIS STUPID TRAFFIC IS MOVING!!! Or one like this one but where we didn't just slam our toe into the bedpost. Or one where the beloved didn't get away, or where our job pays 50% more and has half as much work.
All of these worlds, these fates, these circumstances, these timelines, can be interesting to think about, and maybe even inform our present choices as we look to our future creature comforts but... they don't exist. Our past is fixed; we are here, and it is now. If we can love this moment, we will be better people. It is one of the best philosophical practices I can think of.
Tomorrow I'll be adding a rough paraphrase of this philosophy (loosely translating "AMOR FATI" as "THIS FATE" - I feel more true to myself sticking with the one language I know) to the one small tattoo I already have. I want this message to be part of my bodily self.
Dream Thought: With great power comes great responsibility, but considering my main power is flaring my nostrils at will vs inhaling them closed...
[face pressed against the glass case in the butcher shop] This is a bad zoo
After the Titanic sank, rich people got their revenge by spending the last hundred years melting all the icebergs.