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Man, people are all like "small bites!" "savor your food!" and "give your stomach time to realize you've eaten!" but there is something so emotionally satisfying about great big gulps.

Equal parts microwave Kraft Mac + Cheese with equal parts Salsa (from the jug in the fridge, to cool the dish down down and spice it up) eaten in like 6 bites is one of my love languages, is what I'm saying.

(I can also self-soothe with fistfulls of popcorn. If stuffing as much popcorn into my maw as I can manage in one bite is wrong, I don't want to be right!)

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Whenever you listen to someone playing a brass instrument (trumpet, trombone, tuba, etc.) you're just hearing their lips go pfthpfpthpfht in amplified and modulated form

They're not wrong!

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New character alignment (for comedy purposes only): Chaotic Lawful. They behave by a very definite set of rules, but even they have no idea what they are.


Good news everyone, I figured out my alignment. I've just been calling it autism - Paper

The duo with nomme de tumblr Pencil and Paper post ideas that would likely make for an iffy D+D etc campaign.