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More so than most people (I think) I have an ability to curate emotions; sure feelings arise spontaneously but I think by changing your focus and interpretation, you can give oxygen to feelings that serve your higher self and stifle ones that don't.

Even in this suck time of no tech jobs to be found (anyone need a UI Programmer string in React hmu ;-) ) I gotta remember, there's no special virtue in being miserable. Some baseline anxiety and unhappiness is to be expected, but leaning into it isn't helpful; there are sharp limits to "I'm miserable but if I had a job I'd be less miserable" as a motivating energy to the positive action I am undertaking

The silver linings to these dark clouds are mighty thin, like how you can hammer a sheet of gold so thin you can see through it, but having a bit more time to focus on porchfest stuff and working on this birthday book idea I have, that's something. Band stuff remains enriching, as does times with my superniece.

It's kind of like a forced and probably temporary retirement, but with the more of the body I will wish I had a decade or two hence.

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Just finished the second story of a joint-self-publishing collaboration Brandy in the Basement. I really liked "Brandy of the Damned" - strong Robert Anton Wilson / Tom Robbins energy (in fact I found about him because he wrote the introduction to RAW's Cosmic Trigger I) - I grabbed some quotes last fall (the final 4 on the page are really good)

"Beast in the Basement" was solid too, but a kind of realistic horror that Stephen King sometimes writes. Anyway check it out!