2024.09.23
I've definitely shown some inability to change, and its come to hurt me and some people I love. Though I guess with this video, I do want to point out that it's kind of taken for granted that the change can't be in what the person asking the other to change wants slash needs? It's taken for granted that the request for change is probably the right thing for both parties.
Like the video is right in pointing out people are who they are and do what they do for a complex bundle of reasons - so of course change is difficult because the request to change might be just one force factor among a myriad. (I mean sometimes the need to switch course is blatantly obvious, but other times it feels closer to making one self better for someone else.)
Some of forces that resist change are negative (though the video seem to imply that they're trauma informed, which isn't universally the case. Well, except for the fact that all life is full of the trauma of not being as good as we could imagine) but some are positive as well.
Sigh. I don't mean this to sound quite as defensive as it probably is.
I know one sticking point for me is not being proactively interested enough in others. Over the decades this has manifested from me seeming merely self-absorbed to a more relationship damning "just not that into you" - but for me, it's more like seeming rude to pry. Like to me it seems much safer and wiser to let people curate what they want to bring into the shared space, based on them judging their own needs to share, or what the other person would find interesting.
But not everyone has that knack for proactively sharing stuff. Maybe sometimes they don't think they're interesting enough? And especially they don't want to seem like a burden.
Ah well. Something to work on for me I guess, overcoming my midwestern urge not to pry, or my toxic masculinity-adjacent instinct to grapple with my own problems on my own, or my only-child willingness to share stuff that I hope other people will also find interesting (and assuming that more people join me in the last two categories)
But damn it's rough. Seems so easy to pry, or come across as too desperate and anxious to ask "what's wrong" when sometimes nothing is.
Eddie Murphy imitates James Brown in front of James Brown.
I was the other week years old when I noticed that Glass Joe - the typical first opponent in a "Punch-Out!" game - has a name that's probably a pun on "Glass Jaw".
(I have a theory that I have a "Glass Jaw" when I play Dr. Mario with my mom and aunt - I usually have an edge because my style is fast and opportunistic, but maybe not quite as defensive/responsive.)
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