2026.01.25
"My bargain with the Other Gods has granted me powers beyond human comprehension!"
"Like what?"
"I have no idea."
"... and that's why I need you to rescue me as soon as you get this message."
"What else is new?"
"Well, I'm sorry saving my life is such an inconvenience for you."
"Wha – hold on, I thought this was a recording!"
"It is. You're just extremely predictable."
"Look, could you please stop commenting 'horny on main' every time I post a selfie? Like, yes, we get it – I have horns. Ha ha."
"You also tagged that you want Keira Knightley to use your horns as a steering wheel."
"*One time*."