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KHftCEA 1998-05 May
KHftCEA 1998-05 May
eddie izzard /andy kaufman
 Earwigs, as in ere-wig-o-again. This debate will run and run. There was no year 0 to 400ish, and in fact the calendar was constructed by back calculation by Exegius (who got it wrong) and Bede (who made it worse).  We are stuck with the 7ish year error, and the missing 0, so that 1AD follows 1BC, so we might as well have the party to celebrate the carry propagation.
Reminder: my Honda civic needed an "A-pipe" because the old one cracked and was rattling.
"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation."
                -- Lily Tomlin
Life in the Big Yellow House.
Wow- so the penultimate episode of "Seinfeld" revealed Elaine going to Tufts as a safety school (no such thing as bad publicity?) Heh, funny that neurotic ultrareform-jewish women from Tufts have entered the pop-subconcious.
"Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!"
          OUCH! OW! WHAP! UNH!
          "The skeptics are right."
"We usually are."
Blah, blah, blah. Whatever, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera.
          --Ratbert's short story for impatient people
And when your only hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
"When you really think about Christianity, it is a religion without a penis."
          --Tori Amos
"The ant's a centaur in his dragon world"  
          --  Ezra Pound, Canto LXXXI
"There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine," said a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat.  "And yet just
a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin.  "I could have answered it if I had been there." "Very well.  He asked, 'Why are you breaking into my house in the middle of the night?'"
"Time is a play thing. But when it breaks, you're fucked."
          --Phillip Zibilich
Hope to never hear "a show about nothing" or "yadda, yadda, yadda" again- see ya, Seinfeld
Caution. Blade is sharp. Keep out of children.
          --MIT lab knife warning
You're breakin' my heart
You're makin' this dane
Oh Ophelia!
It's makin' me sick
like poor old Yorrick
who I knew, who I knew

Makin' love
in the afternoon
it's my uncle          
in my mom's bedroom
and Ophelia
has come undone
handing out flowers
to most everyone

It's changin' my tune
All the slings + arrows
of outrageous fortune   
I'm worried a lot
about whether to be...
...or be not
For once, somebody may call me "Sir" without adding, "...you're
making a scene."
          --Homer Simpson
As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.
          --Mr. Blue on Salonmagazine.com
"I really *like* gratuitous nudity. I hate it when people go, 'I'll only do it if it makes sense for the movie.' That's such a crock ... it never makes sense. So I like it the more gratuitous the better.''
          --David Duchovny on "Access Hollywood.''
model LAT8840BAL
serial A5203751  HF
"Indians testing nuclear bombs? They can't even get my tandoori right."
--Chris Knight, Chiropractor

"I'm just glad American Indians don't have the bomb. Talk about heap big payback for Paleface."
--Josh Carter, Sales Representative

"God, the Indians are so much more in touch with their spiritual side, aren't they?"
--Lori Backman, Mathematician

"I just hope the Indians love their children, too."
--Joseph Teufel, Landscaper
          --The Onion, "India and The Bomb"
Pregnant women are like big walking incubators. Kind of odd.
"I think my whore is dead."
          --"old french whores" SNL
I've got a strong urge to fly
But I've got nowhere to fly to
        Roger Waters, Nobody Home,
          The Wall, Pink Floyd
"I think art should be in the place in our culture where religion used to be. Where magic used to be, there should be art."
We come together making chance into starlight
          --Jeff Buckley
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