| KHftCEA 1998-05 May |
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KHftCEA 1998-05 May
eddie izzard /andy kaufman --- Earwigs, as in ere-wig-o-again. This debate will run and run. There was no year 0 to 400ish, and in fact the calendar was constructed by back calculation by Exegius (who got it wrong) and Bede (who made it worse). We are stuck with the 7ish year error, and the missing 0, so that 1AD follows 1BC, so we might as well have the party to celebrate the carry propagation. --H.H.vanRiel@phys.uu.nl --- Reminder: my Honda civic needed an "A-pipe" because the old one cracked and was rattling. 98-5-5 --- "We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." -- Lily Tomlin --- Life in the Big Yellow House. 98-5-7 --- Wow- so the penultimate episode of "Seinfeld" revealed Elaine going to Tufts as a safety school (no such thing as bad publicity?) Heh, funny that neurotic ultrareform-jewish women from Tufts have entered the pop-subconcious. 98-5-8 --- "Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!" OUCH! OW! WHAP! UNH! "The skeptics are right." "We usually are." --Dilbert --- Blah, blah, blah. Whatever, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera. --Ratbert's short story for impatient people --- And when your only hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. --unknown --- "When you really think about Christianity, it is a religion without a penis." --Tori Amos --- "The ant's a centaur in his dragon world" -- Ezra Pound, Canto LXXXI --- "There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine," said a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat. "And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin. "I could have answered it if I had been there." "Very well. He asked, 'Why are you breaking into my house in the middle of the night?'" --- "Time is a play thing. But when it breaks, you're fucked." --Phillip Zibilich --- Hope to never hear "a show about nothing" or "yadda, yadda, yadda" again- see ya, Seinfeld 98-5-15 --- Caution. Blade is sharp. Keep out of children. --MIT lab knife warning --- Ophelia! You're breakin' my heart You're makin' this dane Melancholy-- Oh Ophelia! It's makin' me sick like poor old Yorrick who I knew, who I knew Makin' love in the afternoon it's my uncle in my mom's bedroom and Ophelia has come undone handing out flowers to most everyone Ophelia! It's changin' my tune All the slings + arrows of outrageous fortune Ophelia I'm worried a lot about whether to be... ...or be not --- For once, somebody may call me "Sir" without adding, "...you're making a scene." --Homer Simpson --- As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately. --Mr. Blue on Salonmagazine.com --- "I really *like* gratuitous nudity. I hate it when people go, 'I'll only do it if it makes sense for the movie.' That's such a crock ... it never makes sense. So I like it — the more gratuitous the better.'' --David Duchovny on "Access Hollywood.'' --- model LAT8840BAL serial A5203751 HF 800-462-9824 --- "Indians testing nuclear bombs? They can't even get my tandoori right." --Chris Knight, Chiropractor "I'm just glad American Indians don't have the bomb. Talk about heap big payback for Paleface." --Josh Carter, Sales Representative "God, the Indians are so much more in touch with their spiritual side, aren't they?" --Lori Backman, Mathematician "I just hope the Indians love their children, too." --Joseph Teufel, Landscaper --The Onion, "India and The Bomb" --- Pregnant women are like big walking incubators. Kind of odd. 98-5-21 --- "I think my whore is dead." "Ok!" --"old french whores" SNL --- I've got a strong urge to fly But I've got nowhere to fly to Roger Waters, Nobody Home, The Wall, Pink Floyd --- "I think art should be in the place in our culture where religion used to be. Where magic used to be, there should be art." --Teller --- We come together making chance into starlight --Jeff Buckley |