don't forget nothing

(3 comments)
September 17, 2003

I made up a new logo for JoustPong, combining the blatantly borrowed-from-Joust top with a goofily nondescript bottom. The funny thing is it probably looks like a made this "proper" version and then converted it to the 2600, but really I made this version after the fact. (Though admittedly using the same techniques.) It looks great on a real atari, you can see a photo at the JoustPong Development Page (or see an emulator screenshot)

Orders of the Moment
1. Don't forget nothing.
2. Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, sixty rounds powder and ball, and be ready to march at a minute's warning.
3. When you're on the march, act the way you would if you was sneaking up on a deer. See the enemy first.
4. Tell the truth about what you see and do. There is an army depending on us for correct information. You can lie all you please when you tell other folks about the Rangers, but don't never lie to a Ranger or officer.
5. Don't never take a chance you don't have to.
6. When we're on the march we march single file, far enough apart so one shot can't go through two men.
7. If we strike swamps, or soft ground, we spread out abreast, so it's hard to track us.
8. When we march, we keep moving 'til dark, so as to give the enemy the least possible chance at us.
9. When we camp, half the party stays awake while the other half sleeps.
10. If we take prisoners, we keep 'em separate 'til we have had time to examine them, so they can't cook up a story between 'em.
11. Don't ever march home the same way. Take a different route so you won't be ambushed.
12. No matter whether we travel in big parties or little ones, each party has to keep a scout 20 yards ahead, twenty yards on each flank and twenty yards in the rear, so the main body can't be surprised and wiped out.
13. Every night you'll be told where to meet if surrounded by a superior force.
14. Don't sit down to eat without posting sentries.
15. Don't sleep beyond dawn. Dawn's when the French and Indians attack.
16. Don't cross a river by a regular ford.
17. If somebody's trailing you, make a circle, come back onto your own tracks, and ambush the folks that aim to ambush you.
18. Don't stand up when the enemy's coming against you. Kneel down. Hide behind a tree.
19. Let the enemy come 'till he's almost close enough to touch. Then let him have it and jump out and finish him up with your hatchet.
20. Don't use your musket if you can kill 'em with your hatchet.
--Supposed Major Robert Rogers Standing Orders to his rangers, 1759, though I've heard this is a purposefully folksy sounding 20th century paraphrasing. The actual orders were more verbose, precise, and "properly" written.

Hero of the Moment
Angle Grinder Man frees clamped cars in the UK by using an Angle Grinder as a form of political protest. Or something. The oddest real-life superhero you've seen in a long time, I'd wager.

Observation of the Moment
I heard an Radio ad inviting "moral men" (or something like that) to find out about becoming a mason. I'd heard that they were having trouble filling their ranks, but was surprised to hear an actual advertisement. Of course, it didn't help that all I could think of was the Simpsons episode with the Stonecutters and their song...(Who controls the British crown? / Who keeps the metric system down? / We do! We do!)