offensive material ahoy!

(3 comments)
December 28, 2005

MOM ALERT: Today's entry consists entirely of three offensive(ish) but funny(ish) things I've had sitting around my backlog, but couldn't justify posting 'em on there own. I decided to combine the three into a single entry just to get it done with. Prudish people or folks of otherwise delicate sensibilities may want to stop reading here.

Insult of the Moment
"I patented screwing your mom. But it got revoked for 'prior art.'"
--svallarian's .sig on Slashdot

IM of a Past Moment
Gabby: Did he kiss you?
KT: No.
Gabby: Did you kiss him?
KT: No.
Gabby: Did you lick his balls?
KT: WHAT?! No. Yeah, I just decided to skip the kissing and go straight to licking his balls.
--from CandiPox's LJ, like a frickin' year ago.

Joke of the Moment
Two Canadians are sitting in a bar getting bored, so they decide to play twenty questions. The first Canadian tries to think of a subject for his friend to guess and, after a little pondering, comes up with "moose cock." He tells his friend hes ready to play.

"OK," says the second Canadian. "Is it something good to eat?"

The first Canadian thinks for a moment, then laughs and replies, "Sure, I guess you could eat it."

The second Canadian says, "Is it a moose cock?"
--Funny on SO MANY LEVELS