August 31, 2014quotes

More Usenet fun- my favorite .signature quotes... i had a Perl script that would pick a random one each time, and glue it onto my contact information.

"Stars and People are made of the same stuff" --Bill Nye the Science Guy
%
Now is the winter of our discontent-- and I'm makin' snowballs!
%
There are no "facts"-- there is only *the fact* that man, every man
everywhere in the world, is on his way to ordination. Some men take the
long route and some take the short route. Every man is working out his
own way and nobody can be of help except by being kind, generous, and
patient. --Henry Miller, _Tropic of Capricorn_
%
"All life is 6-to-5 against, just enough to keep you interested" --Runyon
%
"I remember two things very well, and that is that ladies are pretty
and money pays the bills when you get it" --B.B.King
%
"The time has come," the walrus said, / "To speak of manic things,
Of shots and shouts, and sealing dooms / Of commoners and kings."
--Thurber
%
"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another--
it's one damn thing over and over." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
%
There is no god and Murphy is his prophet
%
"Well, we all got misery, but it passes, it always passes!"
-Mike Feder,New_York_Son
%
Insecurity knocks once in a while. Invite her in. Sit down, have coffee
with her. And once you have heard Insecurity out for a while, take that
sugar spoon and poke her in the eye. --Erica Bial
%
"Context is strawberries" -- bas-jan@seneca.demon.nl
%
"When life gives you poop, make poop juice." --Max Canon's Red Meat
%
"Looking back on your life, what would you say satisfied you most?"
"...I'd say women."
--Interviewer and Man Ray (sculpter, photographer, artistic genius)
%
"And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean all you get
is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh
oooh oooh, the sky is the limit!" --The Tick
%
"The question is complex and life is short"--Protagoras on theism v. atheism
%
when you see infrared we're all luminescent
%
The cat is trying to open the door on the hinge side. I laugh, then
realize that I make the same mistake with people, ideas, and doors, too.
--New Yorker cartoon
%
"Life's too short to worry about it"
%
"I want to live like I type- fast, and with lots of mistakes"
%
"Obscenity, by itself, is the last refuge of the vulgarian
and the crutch of the inarticulate motherf**ker." --Lawrence Paros
%
"I'm going to kill everyone in this room."
"Now that's DARN rude."
--The Joker visits David Letterman, The Dark Knight Returns
%
"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the
winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got
about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies--
'God damn it, you've got to be kind.' " --Kurt Vonnegut
%
"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around,
and don't let anybody tell you any different." --Kurt Vonnegut
%
"We're all soldiers in the war against entropy." --alt.folklore.computers
%
"I spent an interesting evening recently with a grain of salt."
--Mark V. Shaney
%
"No why. Just here." -John Cage, Life Magazine's "Why are we here"
%
But in my arms till break of day / Let the living creature lie,
Mortal, guilty, but to me / The entirely beautiful.
--W.H Auden, from "Lullaby"
%
"If I cannot be free, I'll be cheap" --Joe Boswell
%
"I'm out to shave with Occam's Razor"
%
"We don't know if there's a god- but there *are* women..."
--Woody Allen, "Deconstructing Harry"
%
"How do we stop an elephant if it goes berserk? What do we do? Do we use
an AK-47? An M-16? An AR-15?... Frankly, would that stop an elephant?
I really doubt it. Do they have a bazooka?" --US Senator Bob Smith
%
"I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country
what it once was. . . an artic wilderness." --Steve Martin
%
"The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews." --W.H.Auden
%
"When I'm clicking through the hundreds of E-mail messages that await me
each morning, sometimes I imagine I'm a mighty information whale, sifting
through thousands of tiny (but nutritious!) krill bits. Yum!"-J. Quittner
%
"So many women, so little nerve." --Bruce Bethke, "Headcrash"
%
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: This is the ideal life."
--Mark Twain
%
"The ant's a centaur in his dragon world" -- Ezra Pound, Canto LXXXI
%
"I think art should be in the place in our culture where religion
used to be. Where magic used to be, there should be art."--Teller
%
We come together making chance into starlight --Jeff Buckley
%
"We don't know who discovered water, but we're certain
it wasn't a fish." --20 Past Midnight
%
"As they say in my country, the only thing that separates us from the
animals are mindless superstition and pointless ritual."
--Latka Gravas in "Taxi"
%
"Since God is silent, man is his own master; he must live in a disenchanted
world, submit everything to criticism, and make his own way." --Peter Gay
%
[Stegosaurus] Two words: spiked tail. "Oh, so you're sneaking up
behind me to eat my delicious body? WHAM! Spikes! For you! In your head!"
--Brunching Shuttlecocks, http://www.brunching.com
%
"Is
God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is impotent.
Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil?" --David Hume
%
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either charming or tedious." --Oscar Wilde
%
"Sleep... Those little slices of death; O how I LOATH them!"
-- Edgar Allen Poe
%
So we keep asking, over and over, / Until a handful of earth
Stops our mouths-- / But is that an answer?
--Henrich Heine, "Lazarus"
%
"...the greatest bargain since Jesus bar-Miriam was was sold for thirty
pieces of silver to the Romans, who, God wot, have been selling
him ever since..." -- Avram Davidson, "The Redward Edward Papers"
%
i seem to be constantly reminded that everything is temporary.
the older i get, the more this bothers me.
-- http://dancy.franz.com/~virago/
%
"Striving
for excellence, like a moth beating itself
to death on the side of a light bulb."
--Josh Space, church of josh
%
"Without music, life would be a mistake. ...I would only believe
in a God that knew how to dance." --Friedrich Nietzsche
%
> All positive integers are interesting! Any doubters?
No, no, no. All positive integers are boring. Proof by contradiction:
Let n be the smallest non-boring positive integer. So what? QED.
%
Car broke down / Wife left me.
Life is lite, / and then Hefty.
--Rand Carlson
%
Tiger got to hunt, / Bird got to fly; / Man got to sit and wonder,
"Why, why, why?" / Tiger got to sleep, / Bird got to land, /
Man got to tell himself he understand. --Bokonon
%