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A musician, a trombone, and a loop machine...

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I guess the two biggest features on my psychological landscape from my childhood are A. "Kirk is Already Great and Personal Growth isn't Really a Thing" - this is a big set back in terms of ambition, but is hugely protective armor in other ways and B. "Every feeling must submit to rationality and any thing that doesn't jive jibe (with my best guess as) to an objective viewpoint should be discarded". That's a lot of will-power coiled up like a spring in that sentiment. I don't really know how people who don't have that get through.

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TIL: jibe is a word, distinct from jive. Thanks Tom Parmenter!