January 28, 2023
"I can't let you do that."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Don't get me wrong, our little... *collaboration* has been fruitful, but I have to look out for the best interests of my people, and this isn't it."
"I'm afraid you misunderstand the nature of this relationship, 'your majesty'. Your seat at this table is a courtesy. You may be the king of these lands, but ultimately, you're just a fat penguin who rules a kingdom of fools and routinely loses fights with a child. You aren't in a position to *let* us do anything."
"Ha! No... no, I think it's you who misunderstands your position."
"I've lost fights to a child. And have you seen the kind of fights that child *wins*? Gods and monsters. Thing you can't even imagine. And then there's me. Just little old me. Yeah, I lose, eventually, but I make him sweat for every victory. Do you understand?"
"A king may yield before a god, but he remains a king. Let me show you what that means."
My wife: "I regret getting you that blender for Christmas"
Me: *sipping toast* "why?"