2026.04.15
Not that it really needs an addendum, but it lead me to ponder what a useful addition to that might be.
For example, "...and brave" could be another good note. Though, maybe it's as much of a note to myself than what the boys need.
(A note about the bravery for me is - I'm pretty resilient so there are some fears I don't have (though general dread of future unpleasantness can still show up) but I've unpacked how what really blocks me are fears about getting my tender ego bruised - it takes me so long to steel myself up to tackle a task if there seems like a risk I'll fail, or not make it look easy, or maybe even become a reminder that the world is more of the a pain in the butt than I'd like.)
The boys' father would suggest a third part of "and have fun!" At first, to me that seemed gratuitous. Like do you really have to remind kids to have fun? Doesn't that come naturally? But maybe there's more to it than that, like if you squint you can almost get it to cover some of the bravery piece - you're not having fun if you're all worked up about success and failure.
Also I think of work with my therapist, who over the 15-odd years of off-again, on-again time I've worked with him is always encouraging me to lean into the bodily vitality of things. (Getting back to the bravery, his jokey line is learning to be "cocky without being a prick")
So what I'm left with - and I think this has grown into something too much for a signature farewell - is something like
"Be kind and curious,
live bravely and with less ego,
lean into fun and vitality."
I guess here it's more of a mantra, like when stuck in my head, start thinking about it, and which of the 6 points I need most at that point.