|KHftCEA 2000-09.3 September|
KHftCEA 2000-09.3 September
The past doesn't go away. It keeps calling to us from the woods, and at vulnerable moments, at twilight on a fall day with a Chopin étude playing, it can be almost overwhelming. Those old voices weeping and whispering. I have my ghosts and you have yours. Tell me about it. Meanwhile, the day passes, we eat dinner, we put the dishes in the dishwasher, we clean up the kitchen, we pick up a book, life goes on. I believe that
All of the lovers and the love they made --
Nothing that was between them was a mistake.
All that we did for love's sake
Was not wasted and will never fade.
A friend of mine told me a few weeks ago: "You can't regret all of the things you went through in order to get to the happiness where you are now." The old love prepared you for this new one. The tortured and exhausting 10 years with him is a crucial part of your education and can't be separated from the rest and burned. It's quite reasonable to still miss him after only two years. You're not imprinted with him, though, and you know that. You've moved on. You're only enjoying a little sweet sadness. What would an autumn night be like without it? What an inhuman life a person must lead to never experience such feelings.
Found a good way to mark progress at work, inspired by Eric putting sheets of paper, each with a number, and destroying each creatively as the task was done. I use post-its around my monitor, then imaple each on a spike (ok, a pen) as each task is done.
Tomorrow we head to Germany... How exciting! All this time come to this!
Bees are nice. They are gentle. They make honey and pollinate flowers. Of all the things that sting you, they are my favorite.
Similarly, of the things that disembowel you, I feel tigers are the prettiest.
--subatomichumor.com, O Nature!
Pierre Trudeau, former prime minister of Canada, died recently. I should read up on him- a strident federalist who also believed in getting the government out of the bedroom and who by the force of his personality (and startling wardrobe?) did a lot for Canada on the international scene- popular uith an attitude of 'anyone who *really* wants to lead probably shouldn't, and I don't'.
Waiting in the Autumn chill for the airport shuttle bus in the twilight, I see stadium lighting and a playing field, and I think of high school away games and marching band- and now I realize I'm just thinking of what it was like unpacking from the bus- heh, I haven't thought of the instrument truck for years, with its funky hydraulic lift platform.
What happened to a simple romance when you were no longer simple? This is the question of Veronika and me in NYC; after reading Steve Martin's "Shopgirl" it might show up in another short story.
In the Reykjavik airport- group of German teens- one has some kind of palsy... odd to hear foriegn language with that kind of slur, and odd that it's odd.
I think the KHftCEA is going to get a lot of action this week. Maybe I should have a seperate travelog, but I probably won't.