| KHftCEA 2000-10.1 October |
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KHftCEA 2000-10.1 October
First let's talk smells. Today people worry about their rights and freedoms. Some want more. Some want less. I'm more concerned that they're taking away our individual smells. It's terrible. There's a spritz or a spray for everything. Under the arms. In the nose. In the crotch. You have no idea who you're talking to anymore. You don't know the difference between men and women. Everybody smells like a strawberry. You walk past a fruit stand and get hot. What the hell is that? That's no way to live. --The 2000 Year Old Man --- But in between, there is plenty to celebrate. We have poetry, music, dance, and now bagel shops on every corner. Like I once said to Gertrude Stein, "A rose is a rose, and you can't do better than a dozen of them to Alice on Valentine's Day." My advice is to slow down, relax, and smell the lox and onions. The reason we're all here is no mystery. Scientists can stop looking. Life is about one thing, and one thing only. Love. That's what I'm talking about. Love. L-O-V-E. It's not just a many-splendored thing. It's *the* splendored thing. --The 2000 Year Old Man --- You're claiming to be German- yet you don't drink beer. Yet you're in*England* claiming to be *German*- so you must be something really bad. Bosnian or Welch. Probably Welch. --Uwa explaining his brother's experience in England 00-10-5 --- Just read "Song of the Silent Snow" by Hubert Selby Jr, a collection of only - thematically - connected short stories where every story has a central character named "Harry" and all apostrophes are skipped or replaced with slashes (like "he'll" or "I'll" where skipping it would make a different word.) Kind of annoying. 00-10-6 --- I've been thinking I should do a rewrite of "Cafe at Night", make it more true to life. 00-10-6 --- Bohlenweg kochs. (construction,around) www.hoernig.de sign Lindenallee Hofgartens. würzburger s. --streets in Aschafenburg 00-10-6 --- idea: Mexican German restaurant "Zimmerman Telegram" 00-10-6 --- Factoids about German Life: •Apartment renters often have to furnish their own kitchens •Stores close at 4 on Saturdays and aren't open on Sundays. Weekdays they close earlyish, 6 or 8. This is federally mandated to protect the homelives of workers. •For water conservation, toilets in Germany have a dual mode switch- press one side to flush, but if you don't need the full amount of water you can press the other side to stop it early. •Germans do drive pretty fast & hard on the autobahns, (160+ km/hour in V's little renault, 200+ in a nice BMW wagon) but it's not quite as insane as all that. On the roads where there are limits, there are sometimes automatic cameras take a picture of your car and you get a ticket 6 weeks later. •Upon leaving, German restaurant patrons say 'bye' ("tschüß", roughly pronounced 'chuss' or more roughly 'cheers') to other patrons. Also the waitstaff brings over a moneybook to conduct cash transactions at the table rather than carrying money or change to and from a remote register. •Almost all Universities in Germany are public and once you graduate from the German gymnasium you can register at any University. •Fords are considered German cars here since they are manufactured in Germany. 00-10-2:00-10-7 --- "Most of the dandelions had changed from sun to moons." --Vladimir Nabokov, "Lolita" --- Greenland's beauty rocky, ice-laden, yet fair Still best I think When seen from the air. 00-10-8 --- Libra: Your plan to commit the perfect crime is flawed in one important aspect: Sitting on the couch watching football all weekend is not illegal. --Horoscopes on The Onion --- Everything seems a little humdrum after returning from Europe, a little overly familiar... 00-10-9 --- Candy Corn is concentrated evil plus a little sweetener. That's why you mostly see it around Halloween. 00-10-10 --- Wasting time is an important part of living. --Slashdot quote --- "Just because there's a cup on it doesn't make it a coaster." --Phil 00-10-11 --- Idea: coffee flavored breakfast cereal. 00-10-12 --- |