2010.10.03
 this morning i was driving my car. |
 there was a green leaf stuck on the windshield |
 i used the wipers. the leaf left an arc of water droplets behind |
 by the time i picked up my friend, only faint spots remained |
 the arc of droplets on a windshield late on an autumn morning; these made a moment |
 when i was a kid i had an idea about the afterlife: |
 what if it wasn't heaven and clouds, and my mom (and women in general) getting to be angels (my earlier theory) |
 what if it was just one moment, a freeze frame, extended forever? |
 that moment would be all you'd have. all your surroundings, everything you were feeling... ...right now, at this moment, i want to tell you some of the moments i remember |
 as a young child, inspired by something i saw on tv, asking my mom to give me a kitchen knife so i might chivalrously protect her |
 my grandfather papa sam helping me zip up my pjs, my weewee accidentally getting caught in the zipper... |
 some moments are family anecdotes, that are mine only through the hearing: my mom yelling up through the laundry chute to toss down kirk's clothes, his response from the tub: 'i don't talk to no walls' |
 my parents having friends over for dinner - being afraid to spit out the whole ice cube i had put in my mouth |
 breaking a sapling's branch at mrs davis' house to impress some other kids, and earning her justified wrath |
 christmas day at friends, my dad saying "MY BABY" and pretending not to give the daughter's dolly back |
 scared out my wits at sunday school, when the teacher (my aunt) showed a picture of firing squads christians might face during the apocalypse |
 a tough guy laughing as his compatriot got bothered by a cop, pulling the tree off a leaf as he passed |
 at the local fairground, they had one hotdog left, and my dad let me have it, he explained that was something dads just did |
 horsing around with my cousin in grandpa's chair, tipping back and impaling my forehead on a plant stand |
 one time in the car, dad telling me he loved me, and me feeling squirmy at that kind of direct pronouncement |
 getting told i was student of the week for my class at my new school, running down the hall and skidding on the floor - the friction blister was about as bad as the teacher chewing me out |
 an argument with my mom, where she told me my donkey kong jr custom minus the (scary-ish!) mask would be merely cutesy |
 a field trip to NYC, the waiter at mamma leone's saying he was 'da hudson rivah' as he refilled our water glasses |
 overnight stays at best friend todd's, the summerhot bedroom with him and me and his little brother talking and avoiding sleep |
 my dad angry at my "apple ii history quiz" getting a terrible score at the school history fair |
 shocked when realizing thinking "i hate..." triggered "...everything about this place" one miserable week at music camp |