2002.08.25
I finally updated my way-out-of-date bio page, including the return of "The Incomplete List of Kirkisms". I think that "You fish and chips snarfelling waffler" is a useful phrase whenever you are around anyone from England.
Name of the Moment
The badge of El Paso police officer Christine Lynn O'Kane (and her e-mail address) identified her as C. O'KANE (which unfortunately looks like 'cocaine'). After leaving the force for personal reasons and later reapplying, she was denied reinstatement on the grounds that her name was inappropriate -- despite her good service record that included an explicit recommendation her work file supporting her reinstatement. Although her appeal to the Civil Service Commission resulted in her being rehired, she has now reverted to her maiden name (Whitaker).Almost sounds like an urban legend.
Funny of the Moment
Best "epinion" I've ever read, Mi Amor; Or Death by Water Pik:
I love my wife. My wife loves me. I love my Oral Irrigator. My wife does not. Indeed she despises it with great vehemence. I don't blame her. How many times have I jumped from around a corner and blasted her in the face with a laser of water? Don't think it doesn't hurt either. Does a range of thirty feet with a sniper's aim mean anything to you? 'It hurts!' she cries. I've hit her in the eye before. That must have hurt, I admit. But that's why I gave her a pair of Ektelon racquetball goggles. I tell her, "Ektelon racquetball goggles don't do any good unless you're WEARING them."The rest is pretty funny as well.