there is nothing safe in this room

July 31, 2009
2019 UPDATE: Sadly, the fuckheads at UMG have been pretty successful at removing all versions of "white wedding literal version". Here's a transcription of the lyrics:
Hey look at me I wrapped up my head
Here's how I slowly get it all undone
Big candelabra I am shirtless now
'cept for my necklace and a leather glove
Hey do you smell my bad breath?
He's a doctor who can raise the dead
It's a good time for my cool glove
If you stay here I will check you out

Open the doors and let the fog in
Here comes the bride but who's the other one?
Some of my friends are Gothic (Gothic)
Some of my friends are New Wave
Some of my friends are Straight Edge

I'm gunna cut you with the wedding ring
Come on, it's a nice touch for Goth wedding
and my hair needs to be bleached again!

(Grab the butt)

Standin' by candles

She will dance inside the kitchen, baby
But there is nothing safe in this room
And the sink is also not working
And there's stuff blowing up everywhere
'cause there's something wrong with this room

Come on, she's a white bride in Goth wedding
Wow! Now I'll tap my foot in leather pants!
Now it is time to go outside!
--In retrospect, it seems kind of weird to have played (the original of) this at my actual wedding.

Between a team that's "pick one, pitching or hitting" and the unstartling but disappointing Big Papi "tested positive" news, bad time for the Red Sox.