I've been cleaning up a bunch of old files. This was a series of romance-related quotes I put in a file called 'prince.txt". I think the name comes from an ambition to write a Visual Basic program to pick a random message Unix "fortune" program style, called "Sweet-Prince-O-Tron" or some such.
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.
Dorothy Parker
Into love and out again,
Thus I went and thus I go.
Spare your voice, and hold your pen:
Well and bitterly I know
All the songs were ever sung,
All the words were ever said;
Could it be, when I was young,
Someone dropped me on my head?
Dorothy Parker
All the passions make us commit faults; love makes us commit the most
ridiculous ones.
La Rochefoucauld
Arthur's Laws of Love:
(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else.
(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would scarcely get your Feet wet. Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your face.
National Lampoon, 'Deteriorata'
From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving,
Whatever gods may be,
That no life lives forever,
That dead men rise up never,
That even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.
Higgeldy Piggeldy,
Hamlet of Elsinore
Ruffled the critics by
Dropping this bomb:
'Phooey on Freud and his
Psychoanalysis --
Oedipus, Shmoedipus,
I just love Mom.'
Let us live!!!
Let us love!!!
Let us share the deepest secrets of our souls!!!

You first.
Let's just say that where a change was required, I adjusted. In every relationship that exists, people have to seek a way to survive. If you really care about the person, you do what's necessary, or that's the end. For the first time, I found that I really could change, and the qualities I most admired in myself I gave up. I stopped being loud and bossy ... Oh, all right. I was still loud and bossy, but only behind his back.
Kate Hepburn, on Tracy and Hepburn
Love at first sight is one of the greatest labor-saving devices the world has ever seen.
Love is sentimental measles.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken
Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated.
R. Drabek
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Charlie Brown
People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense.
Ken Kesey
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
Anatole France
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
Speaking of love, one problem that recurs more and more frequently these days, in books and plays and movies, is the inability of people to communicate with the people they love; Husbands and wives who can't communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so on. And the characters in these books and plays and so on (and in real life, I might add) spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very *least* he can do is to Shut Up!
Tom Lehrer, 'That Was the Year that Was'
When love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justice is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom.
Hi, Mom!
Laurie Anderson
When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a nose bleed, which usually cures them of *that*.
Mike Harding, 'The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac'
While money doesn't buy love, it puts you in a great bargaining position.
Why must you tell me all your secrets when it's hard enough to love you knowing nothing?
Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.
Lazarus Long, 'Time Enough for Love'

I also found files making this hypnotic barcode clock, also available online.
A crucifix for a snake would just be a stick.