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KHftCEA 1999-10.3 October
KHftCEA 1999-10.3 October

A man walks into a bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender.
Later that night, he goes home and reflects on the poor decisons he's made in life.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken lacks any reasoning or decision-making capabilities, it seems unlikely that the chicken's action was spurred by any particular motivation.
--The Newest Jokes From Jokeland, http://www.mcsweeneys.net
"There's nothing horrible in any of them. You know, there's nothing like, 'Wasn't it fantastic when you bent me over the sofa?' Not that I ever did that."
--The late Princess Diana's ex-lover James Hewitt, defending his decision to publish Diana's love letters despite her wishes.
"I'll never make that mistake again, reading the experts' opinions. Of course, you only live one life, and you make all your mistakes, and learn what not to do, and that's the end of you."
--Richard Feynman, "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!"
What *I* got out of that story was something still very new to me: I understood at last what art is really for, at least in certain respects. It gives somebody, individually, pleasure. You can make something that somebody likes *so much* that they're depressed, or they're happy, on account of that damn thing you made! In science, it's sort of general and large: You don't know the individuals who have appreciated it directly.
 I understood that to sell a drawing is not to make money, but to be sure that it's in the home of someone who really wants it; someone who would feel bad if they didn't have it. This was interesting.
--Richard Feynman, "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!"
"Oral sex combines a man's two favorite activities. Sex ... and not moving, at all."
--Richard Jennie
"Our company newsletter has reports of bizarre workplace crimes. I've never thought of these crimes before, but now I have an urge to be a copycat. Thank goodness my parents raised me to be lazy."
--Wally (from Dilbert, October 14, 1999)
Idea for web project: put the KHftCEA online, but with an index (like the kind a regular book might have.)  Talk about introspective- I'm at risk of curling up into my own navel, kind of like an Escher piece.
by Bryan O'Sullivan

you could spend an hour counting the petals in a flower
it might take you a year to count the veins in each petal
if you spent ten lifetimes, maybe you could count its cells

but you'd have completely missed the point
you fuckhead
--cDc #300
Give me something
to bite my teeth into,
like your wool socks,
gray and soft,
best when worn without shoes,
displayed, kicked up
on the coffee table.
Better yet...
your jeans; five pockets,
rivets, amber thread stitching,
with a zipper fly.
Again and again they thump
and tumble
with mine in the dryer.
Never offering resistance
to its heat.
I admit to being frightened
at the thought
of such a hunger.
--Give Me, by Tery J. England (Spare Change)
"Who thought I'd laugh this much in church"
"Practical. Spiritual. Fun."
--Subway advertising for Vineyard Christian Fellowship of Cambridge (www.cambridgevineyard.org)
"Life is made up of impossible plot twists designed to lead to cheap sex. Who are we to question life?"
--Jordan Lee in Dreamlover
The other day slashdot had a reference to a guy who rigged up Doom so that killing monsters killed procceses on the system. Not too practical, but the first time I saw someone actually attempt that staple of cberpunk, VR mapped to "real life" computer tasks.
Interesting, right after I bought the store I was invited to a large gathering of people.  When I was introduced around, everyone talked to me.  When I used to be in the hat business, no one talked to me.  *My comment on that is, no one talks to a hat salesman;  everyone talks to a porn shop merchant.*  I'm 67 and I am learning new things almost every day.  Some of them I would rather not know, but it goes with the territory.
--Paul Z [emphasis added]
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