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Trump's Mug Shot.

He's trying to look like that one shot of Churchill right after the photographer snatched his cigar. But definitely trying to get that "I will get revenge" vibe on.

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Melissa recommends Kimberly Quinlan's podcast on 14 Things You Should Say to a Loved One with Anxiety

1. I am here for you.
2. How can I support you?
3. You are not bad for experiencing this.
4. Things will get better... this will not last forever.
5. You have gotten through this before.
6. I am proud of how hard you are trying.
7. Let's listen to stories of other people who have gotten through this.
8. I will do the dishes tonight.
9. You are allowed to take this time and this space.
10. You do not need to solve everything right now. You can pace yourself through this.
11. What's important to you right now?
12. I believe you.
13. You are stronger than you think and you have got this.
14. I know you can resist these compulsions.
15. Bonus: it's a beautiful day to do hard things.

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I was who I was, I did what I did, It was fine

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Though of this when I read the headline Terrell Owens ran a sub 4.5 in the 40, and he's 48-years old.

I mean 48 is a perfectly healthy age to be right

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Two of my favorites from this page 17 Pictures Showing How The Past Saw The Future Playing Out



I love retrofuturism! There's a brilliant project / book / tumblr called Problem Glyphs where artist Eliza Gauger draws (invariably symmetrical) sigils in response to problems people send in. There's a kind of power and magic with these; here's one that's stuck with me since I saw it the other day:


The problem sent in was:

Like a gem with many facets, we all work together to pilot this body. The person we present to the world is a persona. We don't want to integrate, though– we want to become more distinct from each other, more fully formed instead of fused, and we want the courage to tell our friends, so they can meet all of us in earnest

I feel some of this. I feel more well-integrated than this poster does, and am comfortable living being a single person, but I realized "committee" might be a decent metaphor to play with for a while for understanding who I am...in part because I don't want to mistake the strong feeling or preference of a single committee member as being what the "I" truly wants - but I also don't want the committee's spokesperson (my inner-voice/narrative-self) to co-opt my sense of identity, and get to claim to be all that I am. (Nor do I want to overshoot the other way, and say that that my inner-voice is just a facade in front of my more fundamental and emotional self.)

There are different flavors of this same idea -like Internal Family Systems or Minsky's "Society of Mind", (and it might even be parallel to what's taken to extremes in Dissociative Identity Disorder, albeit a much softer, "shadow" version of that)

I've previously played with the idea of inner-child or even inner-dog, but I'm not sure any of those ideas get the idea across as accurately as "committee". (Also, unlike the glyph recipient, for now I don't have much clarity in who the members are, it's not clear if they're consistent and persistent identities or if things are more fluid.)

When I hear people say stuff like "that wasn't me!" about a past action, or "that's not me, that's just my feelings!" - I feel like the "committee" metaphor is healthier than that. I mean, in general, those things ARE/were you, but they were triggered by a part of you - a committee member, so to speak - and you might be mistaking your narrative self for being the entirety of you. (I also think people who say 'the self is an illusion' might be overstating the case. I mean the committee exists - *I* exist - but it's certainly easy to get confused about what that self/I is.)

(Thanks to my friend Cordelia (who has a birthday today!) who had the Problem Glyphs Book around during a party)

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Anyone who thinks that the US healthcare is the envy of the world is delusional. You only get the benefits of the free market when you have sufficient transparency. And we absolutely don't.

(And don't get me started on Cigna/Express Scripts. They are doing Melissa dirty right now with THEIR mistakes they won't cover - our pharmacist suspects they try to make actually using a pharmacy a pain in the ass so they can sell you on their mail base service.)

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In 2016, I made "best of the year" galleries for all my digital photography (which went back to 1996!) - kirk.is/tag/poty - and I've done additional galleries for the years since.

I decided to start curating "best of" for photos on a monthly basis to make the process for the year easier - I backfilled it for all 2019 and kirk.is/tag/potm is my tag for best photos of the month.

I try to choose a bit more for aesthetic appeal and visual interestingness than the personal momento, though the best photos have a lot of both for me.

I've been thinking about making physical photobooks for a lot of these - including scans of my creaking old photo albums from birth through college. (which of course are online too - kirk.is/tag/photo_album ) I suppose it's a sad little stab at some crumb of immortality, or at least a boost of longevity. (Physical books have some interesting layout opportunities and challenges I'd have to up my game to meet)

Maybe I should just focus on photography and drop my obsessive consistency with doing the 1 Second Everyday every day. God knows that 6 years into it, there's a sameness that emerges. But it does feel luxurious to review the old compilations and relive those times of my life, and it might feel odd to only to be able to do that for my late-30s, early-40s and no other time. It's a treadmill I don't quite know how to jump off of!

But photos have a gravitas video clips lack. Plus, you can't really do much with short video clips outside these compilations... I guess there are way to make artifacts with looping animations, but good old photos can be blown up into posters, put into books, or just made into wall art.

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Thinking about the 2nd amendment, and its clause on well-regulated militia; I think that the most honest "original intent" interpretation would see it as a collective state rights issue, so that states can raise up their state guards as needed, and the temptations of having a standing army that can be used for tyrannical purposes would be avoided. But isn't it odd, that there's this overwhelming overlap between 2nd amendment fans and fans of the permanent standing army we maintain. Maybe that is the ultimate low key victory of the fascism from WW2; that it gave the scenario for justification for the military industrial complex Eisenhower warned us about, and so we became more like what we had fought in WW2. The rise of expansionary communism muddles that interpretation somewhat, but still. (yeah I know I'm probably recapitulating Chomsky badly)

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Wow. I grew up in Salvation Army bands, based on British Brass Bands... but despite having watched "Brassed Off" I didn't quite realize there's a league-like system with relegation and promotion there! Yesterday Melissa and I went to DiggerlandXL - Diggerland is a kid-friendly construction-vehicle themed amusement park, and the XL is the grown-ups area that lets you spend an hour in an excavator, bulldozer, or wheel loader.

Pondering about "Personal Growth", and my relative skepticism thereof. Growing up as a precocious kid with a big dose of "fixed mindset" (i.e my worthiness was rooted in being such a darn clever little guy, an intrinsic trait) I've grown up into someone who's totally tonedeaf when it comes to, say, character arc in a novel, because I figure everyone's pretty much the same core person their entire life, they might learn things and act a bit differently over time, but it's kind of superficial. At no time is it clear that a bunch of quantitative changes in behavior and outlook become a qualitative achievement of "growth".

(Come to think of it, all those positive personal developments seem to need tending, lest backsliding occur! Why do we always hear about "personal growth" but not "personal shrinkage"?)

It's weird, for a guy who is kind of skeptical about having an immortal soul, or anything independent of the body (save for a poetic sense of the impact we can make on other people) I certainly tend to act like there's a core, unchangeable essence of identity that has a few soul-like properties...

I'm thinking about how I've developed along with my main band, JP Honk. I remember a few years ago we were almost on the verge of adding a semi-regular other tuba player, and I was... I don't know, bothered by it, a bit jealous. I think I was insecure with my place in the band, and so the same sixth grade "I want to be on a unique-in-group instrument" vibe that caused me to switch to tuba from baritone in the first place reared its head. I knew that feeling was pretty and stupid, but it was still there.

I think since then I've gotten over it, and I welcome any addition to the bass part in any group I'm in. Part of that is confidence, and having done more leadership in my group, I know I'm useful and important in multiple ways. And some of it's just security about my relationship to HONK in general, and learning how to better apply my general sense of Feynman-ish "What do YOU care what other people think?"

But... is it growth? Personal development? How do you categorize it, and does it matter?

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Best eclipse video:
More from Supper Mario Broth - animations. Medium: I'm Sorry I Didn't Respond to Your Email, My Husband Coughed to Death Two Years Ago.

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my procrastination jujitsu and the glory days of BASIC...

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Quotes from Christopher Thomas Knight, The Last True Hermit:

"Sitting here in jail, I don't like what I see in the society I'm about to enter. I don't think I'm going to fit in. It's too loud. Too colorful. The lack of aesthetics. The crudeness. The inanities. The trivia."

[On the human condition] "I did examine myself. Solitude did increase my perception. But here's the tricky thing—when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. With no audience, no one to perform for, I was just there. There was no need to define myself; I became irrelevant. The moon was the minute hand, the seasons the hour hand. I didn't even have a name. I never felt lonely. To put it romantically: I was completely free."

[Asked for insight he gained] "Get enough sleep."

His story of living in the harsh woods of Maine for decades, occasionally stealing and becoming a true local urban legend in the process, is astounding. Read this! We hitchhiked for the first time in my life to and from the glacier (shh don't tell mom -- but it feels much safer to do so there than most places, in part because the roads of Juneau aren't connected to any larger highway system.) Saw the glacier, admired the falls, touched some icebergs, and saw salmon there to spawn and (from the viewing platform) a bears that was snacking on them.

Last night we watched "I ♥ Huckabees" -- its tale of a married couple of Existential Detectives (Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman) and their battle for a holistic, everything is meaningful world view vs a French rival's jaded, almost nihilistic everything is meaingless outlook , all in rapidf-fire David Mamet/Aaron Sorkin dialog is probably about to be come a new favorite of mine.

Probably my favorite quote from it was

"There's no such thing as nothing."

but Amber liked the part about "How am I not myself?":
Earlier that day, I had heard part of a radio interview with David Eagleman, who just wrote the book Incognito: the secret lives of the brain that talks about a model of the self that I happen to subscribe to; that internally, it's kind of like a multiparty political system, with each party wanting what it thinks is best for the whole, but with a lot of disagreement about what are the priorities that should be first attended to.

So I suspect I have a different feel about "How am I not myself?" than some people. My answer is more like "Well, I'm not that much of a self"... vs an interpretation of the quote that's wondering how someone could be "untrue" to a monolithic, essentialist "myself".

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A billion dollars from Samsung to Apple? More than the money, it's the validation of the strangling patent system that I hate.

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The function of freedom is to free someone else.

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http://twentytwowords.com/2012/08/21/al-rokers-hilarious-response-to-savannah-guthries-holy-spirit-joke/ - Al Roker does the best dead pan ever.

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Is there a name for things you're oddly dreading starting? Oddly in the sense of you're pretty sure you'll enjoy it once underway?

-- Steve Jobs resigns as CEO, maybe because of health reasons, but he is still Chairman of the Board of Apple. Here's Jobs look for the last 13 years or so, from Gizmodo's "The Evolution of Steve Jobs' Clothing.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Music_Genome_Project_attributes - I'm sad that I don't see ones specific for marching band / drumline sound, like hollaback girl.

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GI Joe: Wants to be Star Wars with Ninjas, turns out to be Team America World Police with slightly worse CGI... One more day of photos:

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After coming up with the "The Dude a-Bidens" as gtalk status, I realize I really need to see the "The Big Lebowski" again, and soon.

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Bummed and bugged at how my current amigos have so little human empathy for certain of my former romantic interests.

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I can't think of a single person I hate. The woman hawking Boston NOWs at Arlington Street Station is the first one I've seen who is friendly and tries to "sell" the paper, mentioning the cover story or other features, and I appreciate that. So I'll take one even though I'm at the end of my commute; I guess it makes for decent enough [insert clever but inoffensive euphemism for "bathroom reading" here].

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Site Update of the Moment
I'm gradually updating the Blender of Love starting with a new look for the frontpage. Eventually I'd like to get lots of small improvements in there, from the logins to the long-awaited editing of previous posts. (I also redid the main animated Logo in something that ends up looking like the old Dr. Katz "squigglevision".)

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Essay of the Moment

In the end, we need to recognize that our presence may have released Iraqis from the grip of a tyrant, but that it has also robbed them of their self-respect. They will soon realize that the best way to regain dignity is to call us what we are - an army of occupation - and force our withdrawal.

Until that happens, it would be prudent for us to increasingly let Iraqis take center stage in all matters, to come up with a nuanced policy in which we assist them from the margins but let them resolve their differences as they see fit. This suggestion is not meant to be defeatist, but rather to highlight our pursuit of incompatible policies to absurd ends without recognizing the incongruities.

(More analysis from Slate)

Nuance does not seem to be a predominant theme in current American policy. Now, I don't kowtow to the "boots on the ground" view just because it is that (since it might succumb to the forest/trees type problem) but their analysis sounds pretty thoughtful to me.

Reorganizing my bookshelves. Conducting another medium-sized purge, actually.

Facing the age old dilemna: should you push the books back, so that they touch the rear of the shelf, or keep them all forward?

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Link of the Moment
Squashed Philosophers... sort of like the Readers Digest Condensed versions of some terrific works of sheer thought.

Quote of the Moment

Confusion is always the most honest response.

I'm not sure if that's literally true on all levels, since it can be feigned, but still.

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Random Question of the Moment
I've been enjoying eHow.com's advice links on my Google homepage, though there's something I don't understand about this one on "Water for Health"...why is hint #3 "Make it a habit not to drink water while you're eating."?

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Article of the Moment
Slate.com on the hype about Meth vs. the 80s hype about crack. I know I bought the "crack is instant addiction" idea hook line and sinker...Even the plague of "crack babies" was a a myth, but it was a fun taunt to say that someone was acting insane.

Site of the Moment
I'm a little annoyed that I'm still a obsessing a bit about cars, but still, Autoblog is pretty cool, with lots of little make-specific miniblogs. Makes for pretty good quick reading.

I really think hatchbacks are the way of the future. There's a lot of 'em out now: the MINI, my Scion xA, the Mazda3, the Pontiac Vibe (what a name for a car!), a bunch of others. Maybe it's a fad, but I think hatches make a lot more sense than trunks. (Here's a really strange new one from Toyota, at least in Japan...and going from the strange to the bizarre, there's also a MINI Stretch Limo...with a built-in whirlpool.)

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News of the Moment
Wow. Florida is even more of a voting nuthouse than we all thought...

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Article of the Moment
Tricks of the Trade is a very cool piece about little tricks various professionals have figured out...some are clever, some are downright sneaky.

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Joke of the Moment

Q: What did the left shoe say to the right shoe?
A: Nothing! Shoes don't talk!

Sonnet of the Moment

Let us not to the marriage of people who know what they want
Admit impediments. Love doesn't vary
Like you might change your hair style from pixie to bouffant
Or throw away your swimsuit in January.
Oh no, it is an ever fixéd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It laughs at death and gooses statues in the park
And loves a cheeseburger with extra bacon.
Love's not time's fool though rosy lips and cheeks
Get all wrinkly and veiny and saggy and gnarly.
Love alters not with its brief hours and weeks
So don't give up on it, Charley.
If this be a big mistake and we wind up hissing and snarling
There is nobody I'd rather be wrong with than you, my darling.

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Literary Passage of the Moment

Roo sighed.
"Imagine a man is running along the street," he said.
"What?" Tracey pulled a face at him.
"Imagine a man running along the street."
"Um, okay."
"He's racing away, desperate to catch a bus that he sees is two hundred yards ahead of him, its indicator already flashing to pull out."
"Right."
"The man sprints towards it for all he's worth--arms waving, loose change flying out of his pockets."
"Yes."
"But while he's still a good hundred and fifty yards away, he stumbles over a small dog--a Yorkshire terrier, perhaps--that disinterestedly crosses his path. He falls. Spinning awkwardly onto the pavement in the cruel oasis created by other pedestrians leaping out of the way. Failure. Wasted effort. A jagged rip in the elbow of his jacket where it's hit the ground. Ahead, unknowing, the bus pulls away and he's missed it."
"Uh-huh."
"Now, instead of a man, imagine it's you, and instead of a bus it's 'The Point.'"
"Cheers for that. It's certainly cleared up a few worries I was having. Also, you're a twat."

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Link of the Moment
Things overheard on the London Underground...or not, the top of the page implies they may all be made up. Still some very cool reading. Local Link of the Moment
I finally updated my way-out-of-date bio page, including the return of "The Incomplete List of Kirkisms". I think that "You fish and chips snarfelling waffler" is a useful phrase whenever you are around anyone from England.

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Name of the Moment

The badge of El Paso police officer Christine Lynn O'Kane (and her e-mail address) identified her as C. O'KANE (which unfortunately looks like 'cocaine'). After leaving the force for personal reasons and later reapplying, she was denied reinstatement on the grounds that her name was inappropriate -- despite her good service record that included an explicit recommendation her work file supporting her reinstatement. Although her appeal to the Civil Service Commission resulted in her being rehired, she has now reverted to her maiden name (Whitaker).

Almost sounds like an urban legend.

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Funny of the Moment
Best "epinion" I've ever read, Mi Amor; Or Death by Water Pik:

I love my wife. My wife loves me. I love my Oral Irrigator. My wife does not. Indeed she despises it with great vehemence. I don't blame her. How many times have I jumped from around a corner and blasted her in the face with a laser of water? Don't think it doesn't hurt either. Does a range of thirty feet with a sniper's aim mean anything to you? 'It hurts!' she cries. I've hit her in the eye before. That must have hurt, I admit. But that's why I gave her a pair of Ektelon racquetball goggles. I tell her, "Ektelon racquetball goggles don't do any good unless you're WEARING them."

The rest is pretty funny as well. Quote of the Moment

There is no justice in this world. Anyone disagrees, I'll punch their stupid faces in...QED.

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Link of the Moment
Ever have the urge to molest a statue? Reminds me of Henry Miller's narrator in "Tropic of Cancer", talking about being destitute in the city park, getting erections looking at the statues there.

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Dirty Cartoon of the Moment
Why Stick Figures are in danger of dying out:
(via mandirt, one of the statue molesters.)